At around 10pm on May 1st, one of my closest friends committed suicide.
I learned that fact from his older brother on Facebook. There were and are no words that adequately describe my shock. There are so many questions left unanswered. What warning signs there were (if any) were subtle. But this much I do know.
My friend, who had a promising career in directing/acting, went to Los Angeles in December to seek career opportunities and to "find himself." From piecing together snippets of conversations from several of his friends, his brother was able to figure out that his mental state had begun to decline. While in isolation each of the conversations he had with people were nothing out of the ordinary, together they may have foreshadowed this event. In fact, even earlier on May 1st he had lengthy and rather ordinary conversations with people, including his brother. Such is the curse of hindsight.
I have promised his brother not to say much more, at least not until after the funeral. I have an unfinished document sitting on my laptop that I had meant to send him - a document that he will never be able to receive. We didn't talk too much these days, because of our very busy schedules and the distances that separated us. But he was a friend I had known practically my entire life.
My last memory of him was at his brother's wedding back in September. Although it has been months and I wasn't able to talk to him and say another goodbye, it was good seeing him back then and he shall remain in my good memories.
Farewell, my friend. You will be missed.
9 comments:
My condolences to you and all who mourn his loss.
*hugs*
Aek: Sorry to hear the bad news. As part of your doctor training you understand that dying is a part of life. Still, it doesn't prepare you for these unexpected and sad events -- which sometimes have no answers for the many questions left behind. All you really have are memories of the good times you once shared with your friend -- hopefully that will be some small measure of comfort.
:::Hug:::
I can't even imagine.
Aek, I'm so sorry to hear that! Condolences to you and all of your friend's loved ones.
Cyber hugs for you. Its the people who are left behind who are injured by sucide, and there isnt any answers for the many questions of why, why, why.....
I'm so sorry for your loss. :( *hugs*
Hollywood is a rough town that uses and spits out talent. One of the greatest thing one person can do for another is this: When he discovers that someone has fallen into a deep hole, he shines a light down and throws over a rope. I believe that had you seen him on a regular basis you would have done just that.
People sometimes carry burdens that they can't fully share with others. With suicide,they escape their unbearable pain but bring such grief to others, even if unintended. I'm so sorry for the loss in your life. You've shared it with your readers now, and I hope it helps lessens the grief for you.
I'm so sorry..... Take care and know others ssupport you.
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