Saturday, December 1, 2007

Mask of Stoicism

It seems I have a Mask of Stoicism, one I use to mask my real emotions (particularly when I'm tired). JW-F pointed it out to me tonight at dinner, though she didn't use the term "Mask of Stoicism." Here's how the conversation sort of went:
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RZ-F: I love red peppers. ::puts lots of ground red peppers on her pizza::
JW-F: I like them too, but that's way too much for me.
RZ-F: I like it spicy.
JW-F: Yeah, but if you put too much it stays in your mouth. And when you get that one flake between your teeth and your tongue touches it, it's so spicy it burns.
RZ-F: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Me: What? I barely notice it.
JW-F: Well, when it's mixed in the food it's okay.
Me: Eh, whatever.
JW-F: . . . You're either very stoic or you just don't care.
Me: ??
JW-F: You're stoic when you just don't show it. And when you don't care, you just don't care.
Me: Okay then, I'm stoic.
. . .
JW-F: It really bothers me that she has that solo part in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (about the cello solo that we wanted).
Me: Umm, yeah . . .
JW-F: Are you being stoic now or do you just don't care?
Me: I . . . uh . . .
JW-F: You're stoic. Of course you care inside.
Me: Okay.
-----
It's true, I mask my real emotions so I just appear really stoic, unless you're a really close friend of mine or if I get really worked up over something. In all honestly, I love spicy food and am rarely phased by it. It just doesn't burn me nearly as much as most of my friends. Maybe it's cuz I'm Asian, haha. I've only been really affected by the spiciness of what I'm eating a handful of times (that's not to say there isn't spicy food out there that'll get me, I just haven't had it yet). Actually, I barely taste the spiciness in Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich - it just tastes seasoned to me. :P

---TANGENT---
I can't believe my blog's been visited over 1000 times. That's like, a landmark or something (for me)! I should post something amusing for my next one. I'll think of something. In the meantime, I'm counting down 11 days or so till my med school interview at NYMC. As far as I'm concerned, this may be the only interview I'm offered. I cannot blow it.
---END TANGENT---

4 comments:

mountii said...

I WEAR A MASK ALL THE TIME TO MASK MY HOMOSEXUALITY IN HIGHSCHOOL...THE MASK WE WEAR ARE LIKE ARMOR THAT SHIELD US FROM CONFLICT AND INFAMY... IN MY CASE IN OFFERS ME ANONYMITY

J.R. said...

Ah, I've got that mask of stoicism, too. I used to joke with a friend in college about how I was dead inside... I'd usually out put it on whenever I just didn't want to think about how lonely I was... or who it was that I wanted to relieve me of my loneliness...

Otherwise, I try to stay pretty engaged. I hope.

Nothing Golden Stays

W said...

Goodluck with at the interview. Many of my friends with stellar credentials had just one interview but they all got into that one school that called them.So not to worry. You still have more time to hear back, don't you?

Aek said...

mountii: Sometimes the masks are like armor, though not always in a bad way. Yes, sometimes they hinder us, but sometimes they allow us to adapt to the situation at hand. Anonymity is a precious one though.

j.r.: Yeah, I can relate. What a weird mask this is. I try not to be as stoic nowadays, but old habits die hard I guess.

w: Thanks! I need all the luck I can get with these interviews. I haven't heard back from most places I've applied, though they have till April to let me know if they want me for an interview or not. That's so far away!