Saturday, January 28, 2012

Privilege & Entitlement

"The moral test of government is how it treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are at the twilight of life, the aged; and those in the shadow of life, the sick, the needy, and the handicapped."
I came across that quote in this article, Addressing the needs of the disadvantaged in our health system. The words themselves struck me and the article is well worth a read (it's by a med student).

I linked that article to a friend and she shot it down as overly idealistic because people will find a way to take advantage of and manipulate the system. Then people will begin to feel entitled to the help from the government and stop trying as hard to pull themselves out of whatever situation they find themselves in. The public health aspect of me balked. She turned it back on me and remarked that I probably felt more entitled than her, and that her boyfriend almost certainly feels more entitled than either of us. I was confused. She stated that I must feel entitled to be paired with good physicians as my clinical teachers and that I expect certain things to happen or else. I was taken aback. This then became a philosophical discourse of sorts.

I have never really felt entitled to much past high school. I learned very quickly that things in life must, more often than not, be earned. I have never felt a sense of entitlement in med school. Whether or not I am paired with a good physician or not is purely luck (that said, I've been pretty lucky lately).

Every moment I have time to give pause I am filled by a sense of privilege. Truly, being a doctor is a privilege and one of the highest out there. In how many other professions can you ask someone to take off their clothes and allow you to touch them in ways that would otherwise get you arrested? In how many other professions will someone come to you and ask you to cut them open and do what you will inside them without getting sent to jail? In how many other professions can you ask someone about the whole "sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll" without getting them arrested?

I am aware that every time I walk into a patient room, I have mere seconds to earn their trust. It's an interaction that takes place within a few seconds' time, but it is so critical. With adults, this is an introduction and a shaking of hands. With kids, this is more subtle but can be sensed by the look in their eyes (and whether they give you a high-five or fist-pound). With newborns, it's a settling back into a calm. I am motivated by a sense of awe for the practice of medicine. For patients to allow me to listen to their stories, to examine them physically, to place trust in my words (as a M3 med student), to consent to have me assist in their surgeries and be elbow deep into their abdomens - I'm not sure words can express the sense of gratitude and privilege one can feel.

Unfortunately for many of my peers, the rigors of the training and the complexities of the patients out of our control have jaded them. To quote Dr. Walcott in the movie, Patch Adams:
"Our job is to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of you and make you into something better. We're gonna make doctors out of you."
In a profession that deals with humanity, how have we allowed it to smother out our own humanity? It's a curious thing. I would be lying if I said I haven't had my moments when I wondered why I even bother to help some patients, knowing that they will not or cannot help themselves. I would be lying if I said I haven't ever been pissed at a patient when things took a turn for the worst.

But thinking back to WHY I'm here in the first place brings me around full circle and sustains me. Everyone has a reason for going to med school, some of them better and nobler than others. I believe those who hold onto their reasons and do not lose sight of it are best able to make it through without become (as) jaded.

Well, this post has been rather long and I'm not sure it makes a whole lot of sense. I'll have more to say after my exam on Monday. Eep!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy New Year 2012!

Hey everyone, Happy New Year 2012! I know I'm a day late, blah blah blah, but Happy New Year nonetheless. May 2012 be fulfilling and rewarding; and for those of you who had a crappy 2011, may 2012 be much much better.

Already at least one blogger started 2012 off on a bad foot. Please go over to Landyn's blog, Stuck In The Middle, and offer him your best wishes and any help you may be able to provide. He's in a really bad spot right now and could use our support.
On a completely 180-degree note, I've got more answers to questions from Well I gotta say, Being gay is . . . (now re-named to "Normally Gay").

1. What is your favorite trait about yourself? It can be physical or character-wise.
Hmm, a tough one. My best character trait is that I'm extremely hardworking and dedicated when I need to be, sometimes almost to a fault. My best physical trait . . . my eyebrows I guess?

2. Describe your perfect man.
This is a tad tough, haha. Originally I had separated this into 2 categories: "requirements" and "pluses." Then I came to the realization that I could give a little more on the requirements and some of the pluses are really more important. So here's just a laundry list below (in no particular order, and the question did specify "perfect" man, after all):

- Beautiful eyes. I find eyes really attractive. The color isn't important, though I find green and hazel eyes particularly mesmerizing.
- Cute face with a cute smile. This is very subjective and no one face fits this description. It may be a clean-shaven face on one guy or with stubbles on another, it just depends.
- Reasonably in shape. Not too thin, not fat (a little overweight is fine), is pretty toned, not too muscle-y.
- Height -2 inches to +6 inches from my height. That'd give a range of about 5'5" to 6'1".
- Age -6 to +6 from my age. That'd give a range of 19 to 31.
- Non-smoker, non-alcoholic, non-drug user. This really is a deal-breaker. Though, I could make an exception for very occasional marijuana use . . .
- Intelligent and can hold a decent conversation. Now, I don't need a doctor or someone with a PhD (pluses though that may be, haha), but an undergrad education is pretty much a must.
- Someone who can consistently get me to smile and do things I otherwise might be hesitant to do. Really, I need someone who can put me at ease when I get too tense.
- Someone who is honest, loyal, keeps promises, and likes to cuddle.
- Is a good cook. Food is definitely one route to my heart, lol.
- Plays a musical instrument and/or speaks a foreign language.
- Likes to travel.
- Is fairly neat & organized. I flit back and forth between being a neat freak and OCD organized and somewhat lax about it all. But I don't want to clean up after a slob.
- Has an "average" to "slightly above average" dick size. That'd give a range of about 5" to 7" or so. Also, not so thick that I'd choke.
- Is uncircumcised. Honestly this is pretty low down, but it is a plus.

3. Last song you listened to?
It'd probably be this: "How to Save a Life" (with Alex Goot)

Before that, it'd be this song: Gravity - by Jason Chan.

4. Favorite thing which is green?
Until recently I would've said my 2 philodendron plants. But I recently-ish bought an "olive green" messenger bag that I really like. :-)

5. Would you ever participate in an orgy?
Umm, no. Three-way, probably.