Wednesday, November 18, 2009

So Gross

Wednesdays are always rough - 8:15am until 9pm. Yuck. Anyway, the title says it all. Today was so high yield in terms of material to blog about! You thought the last post was bad, but today's anatomy lab was one of those we've been dreading. Proceed with caution, this stuff is NOT for the faint of heart. There's stuff at the end too, so if you want to skip the explicit dissecting details, don't feel like a wimp for jumping past it. BUT please read the first paragraph blurb so you know what the details are all about.

Abandon all hope ye who enter here . . .

---EXPLICIT DETAILS---
Today's anatomy lab involved the dissection of the perineum region. For my lab group this involved 2 things: removing the sigmoid colon and rectum (this part's unrelated to the perineum), and cutting off the scrotum and penis (because our cadaver's a guy).

1. On Monday the lab professors bisected everyone's cadavers axially (horizontally) such that the lower half of the body was disassembled from the upper half. The small intestines and colon were also cut. But they left part of our descending colon, our sigmoid colon, and rectum in. Unfortunately . . . it was full of poop.

So we have to remove as much of the colon and rectum as possible. I tied up the free end of the descending colon, but I must've missed some poop because as I was tightening the string, poop oozed out of the open end of the colon like gross brown toothpaste. I grabbed more string and tied it further down and we lopped off a good chunk of colon filled with poop.

Later a lab professor came by and told us that we still needed to remove more, as much as we possibly can. So I got more string, but we had to tie it now so close to the rectum/anus that it was hard to get the string down there. My labmate (future surgeon guy) deftly used 2 tweezers/foreceps and tied knots around the lower rectum, just like a surgeon would tie a knot or suture. We then had some difficulty cutting between the 2 strings we tied to ensure poop didn't leak out of either end. Unfortunately . . . we accidentally cut our last string. Thankfully his rectum and anus were mostly clean of fecal matter. I quickly threw away the second poop-stuffed colon "pouch."

2. The perineum region is the area (on a guy) below the penis and above the anus. Basically, the "taint." Future surgeon guy and I took a side and began cutting off his scrotal skin, all the while wincing. One of the girls had to leave early so we quickly "recruited" the only girl left in our group, Leslie, to "help" us. See, we had to cut around and under the penis, and it was just sticking in the way. So we had her lift the penis straight up as we cut away the scrotum under it.

The moment she held the penis up, several guys came by and commented on that, lol. It was quite amusing. I had remarked something like, "I wish we could induce an erection in death, because his penis is just in the way." That somehow became the quote of the semester in our lab group, lol.

So after we cut away the skin of his scrotum (of which he had lots - his balls were rather large), we cut deeper into the fascia until we could pull out the testicles. Again his testicles were pretty big. o_O We then tried to cut away and find the small thin muscles at the base of the penis. But the penis was in the way. So . . . future surgeon guy decided to bisect the penis at mid-shaft. I protested vigorously, but to no avail. So now we had a disembodied penis tucked somewhere elsewhere in the body. The look on both our faces must've been priceless, because this is just not something any guy would want to do.

Later we also bisected the penis ventral-dorsally (top to bottom), so now the stub of penis left connected to the body is bisected in half. We "had" to do that because sometime soon the lab professors are going to bisect the pelvises of practically every body down the midline.
---END EXPLICIT DETAILS---

P.S. If I ever discover that the above is against HIPAA or something, I'll of course have to delete it. I don't think it is because there aren't any identifiers, just the "procedures" we did on this cadaver.

Now I have two convos I'd like to share briefly. The first I found interesting, the second I found hilarious.

1. Background: our cadaver guy is uncircumcised. This is (mostly) the convo between the 2 girls (the 3rd girl was home sick . . .) in my group about it. Girl #2 is Jewish.

Girl #2: Why does his penis look bent like that?
Girl #1: I think it's because he's uncircumcised.
Me: Of course he's uncircumcised, that's obvious.
Girl #1: Well, I've never seen an uncircumcised penis before.
Girl #2: Really?! Wow, really? Never?!
Girl #1: Yeah. I mean, I've seen my fair share of penises, but none of them were uncircumcised.
Girl #2: I can't believe you've never seen an uncircumcised penis.
Girl #1: Well, my sample size is pretty limited to just [insert Midwest state here].
Girl #2: My first bf for 5 years is uncircumcised.
Me: Wasn't that the guy you would've married?
Girl #2: Yeah. I probably still would.

2. Background: I went to a patient care panel in oncology dinner thing tonight. One of the guys had pretty aggressive prostate cancer (he's in his late-40s to mid-50s). He's obviously alive and well, surgery and chemo went fine and all.

Him: "The surgeon gave me this little blue pill [Viagra]. And I told him it just wasn't working. He then referred me to this other doctor."

*goes to see this other doctor*

Doctor: "You need penile rehabilitation."
Him: ". . . What does that mean?"
Doctor: "You need to masturbate every day."
Him: "o_O Where were you during high school?!"

---TANGENT---
There are a couple blogs that have closed recently, and a few more that haven't updated in a while so I going to assume they're abandoned/closed, at least for now. I still follow all the blogs, but I follow anonymously if they're not currently active.

So farewell to:
Just me
MSTP Bound

And I hope to see the following blog again soon:
A Popular Dude's Secret Life
fictional

Lastly, I'd like to welcome a new blog on my blogroll by a blogger who's no stranger here. Head over to Welcome to Inglewood to see what that's all about.
---END TANGENT---

7 comments:

Dave83201 said...

Sorry buddy I skipped the bad part! I'm a wimp! Thanks for giving me the option.

Oh and by the way... you evaded all the hard parts of AJ's questionnaire. Not fair! LOL!

I think you need to go back and add a few details! HEHE.

tracy said...

Excellent description, felt like i was right there! (i think i almost could smell it!). Yes, i still wish i were in med skool!

i think it's called "Angel Lust" in the very recently deceased...

Thank you for another great post!
Hugs,
tracy

Jacob said...

Ouch! This post reminded me of a lecture I had in the physiology class I once took. The professor was using various diagrams of the male sexual organs in his lecture. He started to discuss the different parts of the penis and how arousal occurs. In a regretful tone he said, "I hate lecturing about this part of the course.. If I were to take a knife and slice the penis, this diagram shows the cross-sectional view you would have of the penis."

Anyways, I used to work in the clinical laboratory of a hospital. I performed lab tests on patients' blood and shit (pun intended). Poo is gross and stinky!

Anonymous said...

Hemisection of the penis was easily the act generating the most squimishness in my med school class. However, there simply is no other way to demonstrate that anatomy. And if you think you had trouble getting to the anus from the abdomen, think about the surgeon doing an AP resection who doesn't have the luxury of removing bowel.

goleftatthefork said...

I'm so completely fascinated

Aek said...

Dave83201: Haha, wimp. :-P I may have evaded the . . . finer details, but you already know the answers to those anyhow. ;-)

Jacob: Yeah, it was rough. Why did you quit being clinical lab tech?

Anonymous: Hehe, one of the many reasons why I'll never be a surgeon.

goleftatthepark: I'm glad you're so completely fascinated. Medicine is quite fascinating. :-)

Seth said...

I know it's gross, but that was SO funny the way you tell the story.

Sounds like call for a long hot shower!!