At around 10pm on May 1st, one of my closest friends committed suicide.
I learned that fact from his older brother on Facebook. There were and are no words that adequately describe my shock. There are so many questions left unanswered. What warning signs there were (if any) were subtle. But this much I do know.
My friend, who had a promising career in directing/acting, went to Los Angeles in December to seek career opportunities and to "find himself." From piecing together snippets of conversations from several of his friends, his brother was able to figure out that his mental state had begun to decline. While in isolation each of the conversations he had with people were nothing out of the ordinary, together they may have foreshadowed this event. In fact, even earlier on May 1st he had lengthy and rather ordinary conversations with people, including his brother. Such is the curse of hindsight.
I have promised his brother not to say much more, at least not until after the funeral. I have an unfinished document sitting on my laptop that I had meant to send him - a document that he will never be able to receive. We didn't talk too much these days, because of our very busy schedules and the distances that separated us. But he was a friend I had known practically my entire life.
My last memory of him was at his brother's wedding back in September. Although it has been months and I wasn't able to talk to him and say another goodbye, it was good seeing him back then and he shall remain in my good memories.
Farewell, my friend. You will be missed.