Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I Am Done With This

So in my last post, G, the girl who parks next to my spot, has continued to harass me. In fact, she has caused me to lose sleep over this incident. I probably didn't fall asleep last night until past 2am and woke up at around 6:30am. I have had enough. I am done with this. Here are more of our exchanges below:
Her reply:

You have parked poorly about 90% of the time when you parked next to me, giving me dangeously enough room for my small car. The night of the accident you knowingly did not give me enough room. You even stated "I was hoping you wouldn't arrive until after 6" which is a sorry exuse. I noticed my spot was tight, and I was very careful, and once the nose of the car and the SIDE VIEW MIRROR made it clear, I figured I had just enough room so I continued. And then the scratch happened. As you did not give me the curtisy of straightening out your car when you were parking, you are at least 50% resposible for the scratches, as you were the one illegally parked. Another important point: YOU COULD HAVE PARKED IN YOUR OWN PARKING SPOT!!!!!! You CHOICE not to, and you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

I agree I was the one driving, so I think a very resonable compromise would be splitting the cost 50/50. That would mean both of us pay $198.

My answer:
Hi G,

I appreciate your response and I would like to address your concerns.

First, if you contend that I parked poorly about 90% of the time (which I disagree with), it should've been all the more pressing that you preemptively ask me to move my car. As I said before, I would've gladly complied. I should also state that the car parked to the left of my spot routinely parks very poorly and sometimes even a little into my spot, which was the sole reason for my parking that night. I would still like to point out that even that night I was always within the lines of my spot. Thus I don't see how I could've been illegally parked.

Second, you yourself said that you figured you had just enough room to continue, which contrasts against your claim that I "did not give [you] enough room." It was, unfortunately, an error in judgment that resulted in your scratch. Third, while it's true that I typically park in a spot farther away, there is no rule (that I'm aware of) that restricts me to one of the two spots allotted per apartment - as who parks where is between my roommate and I. And so, out of courtesy, I shall refrain from parking next to you in the future unless absolutely necessary.

In deference to my first point, if you would like me to notify the car that's parked to the left of my spot, such that you could work out an arrangement with him/her, let me know and I shall do so. I still do not believe it to be fair for me to pay for scratches that you incurred on your car.


Her reply:
You were definitely, without a doubt, over the line that day. And you frequently were parking ON the line before. I have a small car, so while it was inconvenient for me, I decided not to bother you until this incident. Further more, I have NEVER EVER had this problem with your roommate. He either knows how to park properly on his first attempt, or he is curteous enough to straighten out. And once again, as you were using two spots at the time, and you see that you are infringing on my spot (as you were, I did not actually measure but a conservitive guess would be at least 6 inches into my spot) then you should have used the other spot, as no one else was using it. Your car being partly in my spot is the reason why the rear passenger door scraped the pole. You even admitted at the time that you were partly in my spot, so I do not know why you are lying now. We have a difficult parking garage, and I was so used to you on the line that I assumed this would be another tight sqeeze, and was perhaps more confident in the size of my parking spot than I should have been. I am accepting part of the blame and that I am partly responsible. I talked with R the manager, and he agrees that you are partly responsible for my car getting scratched given the circumstances. Out of being a good responsible human being I would appreciate your taking responsibility for your actions and helping me pay for fixing my car.


My answer:

I've tried to be civil but I have only been met with accusations and insults. I do not appreciate you accusing me of lying. I did not change my story. Although I might have once expressed regret that I was close to/on the line, I have never said I was over it. I have consulted with many people, including a lawyer, and they all agree that I was not at fault and that I owe you nothing. I also talked to R earlier today and he contradicted the last message you sent me. I ask that from now on we both leave R out of all this as it's not his job to arbitrate. I understand that you are upset, but I am well within my rights and it was completely unreasonable for you to ask me to pay 100% or even 50% of the damages for an accident you caused. I am done with this. In the name of common decency, please let it rest.

I should add that my final reply was proofed by up to 5 friends and my friend's lawyer dad. For at least a few days, I shall ignore her. I've altered my Facebook settings to specifically prevent her from viewing certain content on my Facebook page as well as restrict/disable her ability to comment on my wall and such. Finally, I've altered my Facebook settings such that I won't even get notifications of messages being sent to me; thus, unless I specifically check Facebook, I won't know if she replies or not. She's pretty passive-aggressive and hasn't stopped by my apartment to confront me in person (other than the moment right after the incident), so I'm counting on that she won't.

I need to obtain a few more pictures of the "scene." While the pictures won't be as informative as they would've on the day of the incident, they may still prove helpful in the future. Thank God for comparative negligence laws being on my side (at least, they seem like they definitely would be in this situation).


Mike said...

Did you notify your insurance company that someone is harassing you about this?

El Genio said...

She hit your parked car. The End. It doesn't matter where it was parked, she hit it. I really wouldn't talk to her at all. If she is serious about this, then she can get insurance companies involved, but you are not obligated to communicate with her or make some kind of sketchy side payment.

Mind Of Mine said...

I think this is hilarious, she is quite obviously deluded. You have absolutely no reason to feel bad about this. The fact that she has the 'Gall' to ask is simply ludicrous!

Dave said...

I hope it helps to know others see your points, and consider you to be the reasonable one. Now tonight I hope you will sleep better, and let all this stupidity just roll off your back.

HUGS!!! -- Dave

Ron said...

Try to get yourself a good night's rest, don't let this be on your mind. I lol that advice cuz it's coming from me, of all people.

If only I listen to half of my own advice I give others...

But yeah I don't know how she can continue arguing. Everything else around the vicinity at the time of the incident was stationary, with the exception of her car.

She was the one driving.

Her car was the only object moving.

Should she also sue the city government because the pole was what gave her the scratches on her car?

torchy! said...

absolutely agree with all the other guys. she clearly can't hold herself to blame for anything that goes wrong in her life.

she was the one moving, everything around her was stationary. if she had the skill and judgement (she didn't) to determine she couldn't make it into the space (she couldn't), she should have parked somewhere else, asked someone to move, or temporarily double-parked. end of.

i can really empathise with you about what you're going through. i sincerely hope she sees sense and lets it rest.

good luck

Anonymous said...

Definitely not your fault at all if you are parked, no matter how badly you might have been parked or how little room she had to manoeuvre her car. Fact is if she couldn't get into the space without scratching your car she shouldn't have tried to. Make sure you contact insurance company now.

Anonymous said...

I have something different to say from the others. Give yourself permission to be upset about this. It's natural that when someone's attacking you, that you get upset.

In the end, though, if she could have collected, she would have made a claim to her insurance company. But that would require her to say that your parked car hit hers or jumped in such a way that she hit the column to avoid it.

I don't know if you can laugh about this, but they had this commercial in Spain for an insurance company in which this guy, dressed as a column in a parking garage was jumping all over the place, saying, "You know me. I'm that column that's always moving!"

naturgesetz said...

If she keeps at you, maybe, with the lawyer friend's approval you could send her a note saying that you have already given her your answer, that she should kindly desist from further attempts to get you to pay any of the cost of her accident, and that you will consider further communication from her on this matter to be harassment.

I wouldn't explain your take on it to her again. You've already done that, So all you need to do now, all you should do now, IMO, is to tell her she already has your answer and further discussion is useless.

I'd be tempted to make a remark describing the accident as a result of a deficiency in her driving skills, for which you bear no responsibility, but that would only make her angry. LOL

Cutting back on her access to you makes sense as a move for your own peace of mind.

Seth said...


Ok, here's what you do:

STOP ALL COMMUNICATIONS with her. Seriously. You're only getting deeper into this.

Has she filed a police report about the damages she caused to her own car? If she has not filed a claim, then she has no ground to stand on. Period.

Un-friend her from Facebook. Again, cease ALL communications with her.

Ignore her as much as possible - if she continues to push the point, it's harassment, and YOU can file a police report. (Or at least inform her that you will call the police if she continues). That would probably put a stop to it.

Put a stop to it once and for all before you get yourself upset even more.

James said...

I agree with Seth. Cut her off completely. If she manages to send you emails, etc., keep them as evidence for harassment. Likely she'll drop everything when she can't get ahold of you. It's rather suspicious, actually, that she hasn't made a claim already. Methinks she has an unpleasant driving record with her insurance company (if she even has one) already, and that she knows she's unlikely to get anything if she involves actual authorities.

As a humorous side-note, when these kinds of things happen in my life, and they have, this is usually the point where my brother offers to make the person disappear permanently. I keep having to remind him there are (probably) better ways to take care of these situations.

torchy! said...

hey James, can I have your brother's number please? :-)


Uncutplus said...

Naturegetz and Seth have it right. If you have a digital camera, take frequent pictures of your car inside the lines and also as documentation in case she decides to scratch or key your car. She sounds like a vindictive bitch.

In regards to her harassment of you, document it and if necessary threaten to countersue her if she should sue you.

I understand your anger, frustration, and therefore sleepless nights. I think a couple of nights with Ambien are justified!

J said...

Genio summarized this situation very well. The negligence is all hers. Tell this whack job that if she had any confidence in her argument she should take it to small claims court, and if she doesn't stop harassing you, you will turn her in for stalking. One word of caution here: She sounds like the kind of person who will key your car in retaliation when you aren't around. I hope you park near a surveillance camera.

Aaron said...

That's pretty ridiculous having to put up with such bullshit. I hope you actually find some peace from it and actually get some proper sleep and live your life the way it should be. I know its hard but I hope it happens!

B said...

Even if she had a good argument (which she doesn't), she would have lost any sympathy I may have had for her by how rude she was to you in her messages (not to mention the fact that she was too cowardly to talk it over in person).

Aek said...

Thanks all!!

Mike: No, I haven't notified my insurance company yet.

El Genio: She didn't hit my car. She only scratched her rear passenger-side door on the right of her car.

Dave: Thanks!!

Ron: Lol. :-P

torchy!: Thanks!

naturgesetz, Seth, James: Yeah, I haven't communicated with her in about week now.

Uncutplus: I have taken pics. Though not at the time of the incident, but of the area in the parking garage as well as the scratch on her car.

Aaron: I'm still looking for some peace. Alas, I don't know where it's gone!

B: Yes, totally. What empathy she had from me (and I might've had considerable) was lost when she sent that first message.