Solitude

I am a single man - an individual -
undaunted by public displays of affection,
unshaken by the pairing and coupling of others.
These symbiotic relations have made them weak,
their freedoms restrained, their hearts softened.
Who needs that?

I can, at a whim, drive to nowhere
and gaze at the light of the stars,
observing the music of the heavens.
I would take in the awe and majesty
of the universe unfurled around me,
and know the meaning of life.

I can hike into the woods
and embrace the beauty of nature -
the sound of crunching leaves, the fires of autumn,
the soundscapes of brooks and creatures.
I would be one with the breath of the trees,
and know peace and solace.

I can lay on the warm sands of the beach
and listen to the rhythms of the rolling waves.
I would dig my toes into the sand,
feel the wind and sun on my face -
close my eyes, inhale deep,
and know relaxation.

I can stay in on a cold winter day
and bake a warm pie while sipping hot tea.
I would curl under a blanket on the couch,
watching the snow falling ever so gently.
I am content and satisfied,
as this is comfort.

I run on my own schedule,
my time is mine, my thoughts and actions are mine.
I need no reminding of the pairing and coupling
that defines the life-course of others.
I am a single man - an individual -
and I with nothing more than to share it with you.

Check & Check

Step 2 CK: check. (Did 20 points better than on Step 1, woot!)

Step 2 CS: check.

Letters of recommendation: check.

ERAS application: check.

Schedule my first few residency interviews: check.

Haven't actually gotten a residency interview invitation in a while now, and it's making me nervous.  I applied to 29 programs, which most people have told me is overkill for pediatrics (on average, people applying to pediatrics apply to about 15-20 programs).  I really need to hear from more programs NOW.

I'm on pediatric anesthesia right now.  For the past month I've been on my vacation month (for another post), so coming back to starting at 6:30am is a bit of a shift.  It's been a good experience so far.  I like getting the opportunity and practice of putting IV's in babies and kids, as well as manage the airway.  I like being able to see a diversity of pediatric surgeries because I can migrate from OR to OR each day and see something totally different than if I were just on one surgical service.  Everyone I've interacted with has been very nice and (usually) patient with me.

But I have to say, some people have got to stop trying to make me question why I want to do pediatrics.  Yes, I will be making about 1/4 to 1/3 of your salary.  No, it's definitely not for the money, that's abundantly clear.  I'm well aware that I'll be making among the bottom salaries as far as physicians go.  That said, I will make more money than both my parents' salaries combined.  And I see absolutely no need to "upgrade" my lifestyle.  Yes, I will come out with far more debt than both my parents, but I don't doubt that I'll have the ability to pay it off (annoying rough as that may potentially be).

Anyway, there were some cases I've seen that have definitely reaffirmed some of the reasons why I choose to pursue pediatrics (for another post).  And who knows, if I get bored or burnt out, pediatric anesthesiology might be an option, as it seems almost 1/3 to 1/2 of the staff peds anesthesiologists here apparently started off as pediatricians.  Hmm . . . I must pick their brains on this.