Thursday, March 6, 2008

What Dreams May Come

I was going to write a post on this a while ago, but things keep coming up. You know how it goes. Anyway, I think I have really random dreams. They're usually PG/PG-13 or so, but every now and then (fairly rarely, actually), I have one of those wild porn-like sex dreams. The following are PG/PG-13 though. I just thought I'd share what some of my dreams are like.
1. President Bush vs. Squirtle

I was walking in a city park, one of those nice large ones with small hills, lots of trees and grass, some fountains, nice paths for walking, and maybe a small pond. So I was walking along on a path when I see President Bush up ahead. For some reason (I think it was his facial expression) he pissed me off.

Next to me I see a turtle walking by. I picked up the turtle and kind of "tossed" it in front of me towards Bush. Lo and behold, the turtle transforms into a Squirtle-like thing. At this point President Bush noticed me and was alert.

I issued commands at my new "Pokemon," and told it to use water gun. Apparently, the President Bush in my dream wasn't only annoying, but also really acrobatic. He did all sorts of flips and jumps to dodge my Squirtle's attack, all the while chuckling at it. My Squirtle was pissed too now. So, I told Squirtle to use bubblebeam or something. At this, Bush laughed even harder because, well, they're bubbles. He easily maneuvered around the silly bubbles until he was right in front of Squirtle.

He then bent down, tapped it on the head with his hand, and kicked Squirtle away. Squirtle kind of fell on its back and couldn't get back up. Then he came for me. He did the same thing: patted me on the head, and then kind of kicked me. When I got back up, he disappeared.

Then I woke up. The first thing I did was go to my friend's apartment to tell SR-F and JW-F about my dream. Then I woke up for real to NPR. And guess what? It was talking about Bush's plan in Africa.
2. Library incidence

I was at the undergrad library working on a project with like 2 other people. I had my laptop out and was explaining things, working on a PowerPoint, etc.

Suddenly from behind, this Middle-Eastern guy comes up. He was chewing gum or something. I gave no notice at first, thinking he'd walk away. But no. Instead, he takes the gum out of his mouth, it was all bright pink and whatnot, and was just playing with it in his hands while watching us.

This was weird, I thought. Now we're all giving him weird looks. Suddenly, he bends over and starts typing on my laptop with gum all over his hands. He got some gum on my keys so it became all sticky. At this point, I was shocked. I was like, "Wtf are you doing with my computer?!"

He stopped for a moment, and I turned around to yell at him. Then he kind of scooted onto my chair, displacing me a bit. And starts typing with both hands. Now I was pissed. I go to hit him, and he suddenly gets up and runs away. He turns around a shelf and disappears.

Now my laptop keys are not only sticky, they're stuck. When pressed down, they wouldn't come back up. I wanted to cry.

Then I woke up.
So yeah, those are some of my weird dreams. I don't think anything will top the "President Bush vs. Squirtle" one.

So, there's this guy in my bio class. I swear he's gay. He has a lot of the "stereotypical" attributes that people would associate with gayness: the way his hair is done, the way he moves, the way he talks, and to a lesser extent, the way he dresses.

So I found out his name and looked him up on Facebook. Apparently he's a grad student, but he's enrolled in this class and taking it for credit (which explains why he looks older). Also, it says he's interested in women. Hmm, I guess I could be wrong. Or he could be lying.

I think I have broken gaydar, or a lack thereof.

No comments: