Wow. This really IS happening. o_O
All of this feels surreal still. Tomorrow, Friday, next Monday, next Wednesday, and next Thursday through next Saturday. Things will be okay, they'll work out.
It seems I've bought a ticket to San Diego, CA, for the GLMA Conference next week. And it seems that Dr. P is paying for everything but the plane ticket. I'm not sure how this is all going to work out, but I need to tell myself that things will be okay and they'll work out.
I should be grateful, and I am. More so than anything. I should be ecstatic. But I'm not - why do I feel unworthy of this extreme generosity? Why do I feel so nervous? Why do I feel like crawling under a rock?
It's okay, it's not like any of you will see the above on my face. Like an oncologist delivering bad news, we in the medical field out of necessity develop great masks to hide our own feelings outwardly. I just hope mine doesn't crack.
And I'm still waiting for that one thing that'll bring me back to normal. But if I told you it wouldn't happen. And so I wait.
All of this feels surreal still. Tomorrow, Friday, next Monday, next Wednesday, and next Thursday through next Saturday. Things will be okay, they'll work out.
It seems I've bought a ticket to San Diego, CA, for the GLMA Conference next week. And it seems that Dr. P is paying for everything but the plane ticket. I'm not sure how this is all going to work out, but I need to tell myself that things will be okay and they'll work out.
I should be grateful, and I am. More so than anything. I should be ecstatic. But I'm not - why do I feel unworthy of this extreme generosity? Why do I feel so nervous? Why do I feel like crawling under a rock?
It's okay, it's not like any of you will see the above on my face. Like an oncologist delivering bad news, we in the medical field out of necessity develop great masks to hide our own feelings outwardly. I just hope mine doesn't crack.
And I'm still waiting for that one thing that'll bring me back to normal. But if I told you it wouldn't happen. And so I wait.
3 comments:
Dr. P sounds like such an awesome and generous guy! I have felt there so many times when people are extremely generous and do things that you would not expect/ask of them. It makes you feel weird inside and almost uncomfortable- i.e. The Guy giving me a $700 DVD player, my principal going out of the way for me a few weeks back. Do something like a nice card or something for Dr. P where you tell him how much you appreciate his generosity! Dr. P sounds like an awesome ally in your corner!
Oh, and since you're going to be out on this coast maybe we can meet up? I can drive down there...
A good teacher likes taking care of their grad student. Don't feel bad; just accept the generous gift. I'm now found of saying, "I'm too proud to refuse charity." That usually gets laughs: everyone knows I need help, including myself, and there's no reason it shouldn't be offered and there's no reason it should be refused.
Mike: Yeah, Dr. P is quite amazing and generous. I did give him a card today that we (and by "we" I mean our Treasurer) made for him for helping host the Opening Social event. :-)
And yeah, I'd love to meet up!! I'll email/call you later next week when it gets closer to me actually flying out.
Post a Comment