Friday, January 22, 2010

Lunch Date? o_O

To those who commented on my last post, thanks for your responses.

So Jay IM'd me last night and we chatted for a bit. :-) It's interesting chatting with him. We have these moments where we seem to connect, and the convo flows freely and easily for a bit. Then suddenly it's like one of us is busy, and there are long periods of silence punctuated by short replies.

Anyway, after a while, I asked him if he was still free this weekend (and interested) for meeting up. He was. So we settled on Sunday at noon for lunch at this deli cafe place he suggested. Omg this is really happening! I don't have his number (yet), so I hope I can either get it soon or just have to count on both of us not being late or too early.

There are all these questions running through my head, pretty standard questions I'd imagine. What do I wear (as I mentally rummage through my very limited wardrobe)? How do I greet him - handshake vs. hug? Are we splitting the bill? How will the convo go? Will there be that spark, or will it be awkward/mindless small talk? What'll he think of me? What'll I think of him? Will I stutter (it happens occasionally when I'm nervous/shy)? Is this a lunch date, or is this just getting together to grab lunch and chat? Will there be more?

I hope all goes well. I feel like this is a kind of turning point - either things go forward to something more, stop at acquaintance-friendship, or sizzle to nothingness. Any thoughts/advice for me? I'm too new to this . . . *Sighs*

Thanks. ^_^


El Genio said...

This is definitely a turning point. You'll either click and want to continue getting to know each other, or things will kind of just fizzle. Regardless, you shouldn't hyper-stress over it (not saying that you are), but just treat it as the opportunity to make a new friend.

I am probably the most awkward person on the planet when it comes to a handshake vs a hug. I have been giving handshakes for so many years I just default to them, but lots of guys like a friendly hug. As for the bill, one of you should pay for it IMO, although there is no set rule as to who. And the nervous/shy thing can be a turn on, as long as it's not to some absurd extreme.

At the very least you get some yummy food, always a bonus. Good luck!

Anonymous said...


Be nice, be yourself. You're meeting with a guy. Last time that happened I recall you got some serious action. :O

"We have these moments where we seem to connect, and the convo flows freely and easily for a bit. Then suddenly it's like one of us is busy, and there are long periods of silence punctuated by short replies." ... that's like every interaction we've ever had, Aek. :P

Dave83201 said...

This is so exciting! You are going to do so well, I can feel it! Just relax and breathe. If you're relaxed he will relax. You can over plan and over think these things... but remember two words that recently helped me... "Be bold!" Confidence is attractive, an you have ever reason to feel confident.

Let me know what happens!

Mike said...

First of all, don't stress!!! As far as clothes go, I tend to wear the same stuff to work as I wear on a date- nice pants and shirt. I tend to do hugs with gay guys. I don't think it really matters. You can tell and it is kind of instantaneous if the guy is a hugger or a shaker. LOL I always offer and try to pay- at least make the effort. Don't stress!

Jason Carwin said...

That's exciting. While I've never been in a similar situation, I would suggest relaxing. If things don't work out, then who cares? There will always be another day and another guy. If things do work out, you'll want it to happen when you are being yourself. How can you enjoy yourself when you're uptight?

Ron said...

oh congrats so far! i hope all goes well for you :) tell us how it goes


The Covert Homo said...

The best advice anyone could give you is just to be yourself and not worry about things. Just let it flow. Best of luck!!

Anonymous said...

So it's already been said, but who you are, just on your best behavior. :) You dress like you usually do, but maybe one step up. Don't wear anything uncomfortable. Definitely be clean and smell good (check that breath!). You want casual without looking like a slob or a slut.

Allow silences to happen. They are okay. If you really feel like you need to say something, ask a question about him. Be interested in him.

The general rule for who pays is the person who asked the other person to lunch. It looks like you asked him, so normally you'd pay. If he insists on paying part, that's okay too.

Handshake/hug, do what feels comfortable. You'll work that out. The person who is the most extroverted will usually act first, so if that's him, just go with the flow. Do what feels right for you.

Try not to set expectations. It doesn't matter if there's a "spark". It does matter if you enjoy his company. If you enjoy having lunch with him, of getting to know him, having another is grand. If you hate it, if it turns out to be the most boring experience of your life, if you have no further interest in him, then don't go again.

Jeremy said...

Good Luck! :)


Aek said...

Thanks everyone for your comments!! ^_^

Sexually Confused said...

Lol, I can't give you so much tips, but one is kinda nice: don't think too much, just let the river flow and everything will be fine and everything will come by itself, you'll see. Just be yourself, and you will notice the "spark"...