Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Apparently . . .

. . . I need to be saved.

After getting coffee with AG-F after work yesterday, we walked across the campus to a Borders where she had a book on hold. We managed to walk past an evangelist without attracting his attention. But we had to walk back in the same direction to get to where we each needed to go. On the way back, he saw us.

He came up to me and handed me a leaflet with "Christ is Victor" on it. Nevermind that AG-F was walking closer to him. Nevermind that he completely ignored her, bypassing her arm and body to give it to me specifically. After we walked past hearing distance, we both thought "What was that?!" We had expected him to give a leaflet to both her and me, but no, only I had to have one. Our following conversation was something as followed:

Me: "What was that? Did that just happened?"

AG-F: "I don't know. Apparently you need to be saved. Just you, not me."

Me: "That's so weird. Maybe you just look like a generic WASP to him? Hmm, I already have a Bible . . ." (AG-F's Catholic, I think . . . and the Bible was for class)

AG-F: "Clearly they don't have enough of 'you.' They've already enough of 'me,' maybe they already have a whole collection of 'me.' But aren't there lots of Asian Christians?"

Me: "Yeah, but they're all Korean . . ." (Kind of somewhat true)

So yeah, that was strange. I gave her the leaflet so it could fulfill its fate (aka, get recycled). She was headed to the library anyway. On my way back to my apartment, I half-heartedly decided that I want to collect some major religious texts. I already have a Bible (and a Torah in retrospect as that's basically the Old Testament, though I'm sure many would disagree with me). I have excerpts of the Analects of Confucius, excerpts of the I Ching, and the Tao Te Ching. All I need now are the Quran, Buddhist scriptures, and Hindu scriptures to have collected the world's most "popular" religions.
. . . Asian guys have small penises that drag the average down.

SC-F and RS-M were talking about their mutual friend, Tyler, who apparently has a huge penis. And she was talking about penis sizes and such. At one point, she said something to the effect of, "The overall average seems small to me. (Average = about 6 inches) You know why? It's cuz of all the Asians, they're dragging the average down."

She went on about this for a little bit, about how Asians have smaller penises on average and that it was a fact. And they drag down the average significantly, otherwise it might be an inch or so higher. I don't know if she noticed that I was sitting behind her, because suddenly she turned to me and was like, "No offense."

But how could I not take offense? Granted, I'm not above average but I'm well within the average range (of what, 5 to 6.5 inches?). The strange thing is that it didn't bother me at the time. But when I woke up the next morning, I was so indignant. Sure, I can accept that Asians tend to be on the small side of average, just like Asians tend to be shorter and Asian women tend to have smaller breasts. I can accept that the exceptionally large Asian penises are rare. But to say that "we're" so short that we drag the average down for everyone else, that's just wrong.

I don't know why I felt so indignant, I just did. I almost wished I could go back in time and say to her, "You know what? Asian women have smaller breasts and vaginas." Which isn't exactly false, but again, not lying outside one standard deviation of the normal distribution centered around "average."

Sigh, all the things I wish I had said or should've/could've said.

1 comment:

Mike said...

My 1 bio class I took about sex was interesting. The professor said that average size has nothing to do with it. It is how you use it, so remember that! It is true! haha I've experienced it...