Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Rebound Chat

This morning when I signed on AIM, my friend RZ-F messaged me after downing 8 shots of 42% vodka all the way from China. I don't care what she says - she's an Asian woman, there's no way she could down that much alcohol and not feel it even if she has fully functional alcohol dehydrogenase in her liver.

Anyway, when she drinks she has this tendency to call/IM me for what I now like to call "rebound chat." For the past year or so she's been "involved" with this guy in China. She's constantly calling and IMing him. While he likes her, he doesn't feel the same about her as she does about him. And she's frustrated that their relationship won't progress, or that she can't get him to say anything about it. So, when she gets inebriated (even though she adamantly claims she can't get drunk), she calls/IMs me to complain.

She usually tells me how she hates guys, how guys suck, how she should be single, how she wishes guys were more like me (though I claim being me hasn't helped me at all in this respect), how I'm lucky to not be in a relationship, blah blah blah. Really there's not much I can do but smile and nod, metaphorically speaking. I mean, what am I supposed to do?

Today was a little different. She asked me why we didn't date way back in junior year of undergrad when we had the chance. Fuck. I hate that question, it always unsettles me emotionally. At that time I was seriously confronted myself on my sexuality and it scared me, and it still scares me. I was scared so I ran away from a potential relationship, and I'm constantly reminded of it when she speaks to me about this guy who she's not even really in a relationship with.

She asked me if I liked her. I said yes. She asked me if I still liked her. I got a little teary (which I did not communicate to her). What am I supposed to say? If I say yes there's nothing that can be done because we will soon live 3 states away from each other, and neither of us have any desire to pursue a long-distance relationship. And if I say no she'll be disappointed and I'm not sure that's entirely true. So she left me in somewhat of a mess that she'll never see. It doesn't help that my mom keeps asking me if RZ-F is my girlfriend and when I say no, she then asks if she has a boyfriend (to which I answer "I don't know").

Well, we did make that one pact: if we're both single when we hit 30 we'll marry each other.

---TANGENT---
Alright everyone, it's down to the last day. If you're going to answer (or modify your answer to) my challenge question, today (Wednesday) is the last day. Though, depending on where you live in the world, if you were to answer the question early enough on Thursday before I create the post, your response would still be valid.

So readers, if you'll be so bold as to answer my challenge question, please please please do so in a comment or email ASAP! Thanks!!
---END TANGENT---

5 comments:

James said...

I guess I only have so much time then now don't I? :P

*hugs* Aek...you need them, too.

naturgesetz said...

Those conversations are awkward, aren't they. Promise of marriage was probably not a wise move. Now all she has to do is wait for you.

OTOH I suppose there are worse things tan being married to someone you care about, that is, really love in a non-sexual way. If she can be satisfied with you, and you can be faithful to each other, you can make each other happy. And who knows, you might even get to raise some nice children.

I take it back. The conditional engagement might not have been such a bad idea after all.

Anonymous said...

You know how when you're on a plane and the stewardess says, "if the oxygen mask comes down, place your own on first before assisting someone else"? Yah, do that.

J said...

Any more of this stuff and you'll have to make your specialty psychiatry.

Mike said...

I have always wondered if that would happen with a friend (whether gay or straight) that if we're not married by the time we're say, 30, we marry.

:::Hug::: on the the questioning. I'm sure you handled it the best you could!