Sunday, July 5, 2009

Fallen By The Wayside

Okay, there will be a lot of names in this post. And as I "codify" everyone's name (because I'm too lazy to come up with fake names), it may get confusing without a key. As a reminder, I mentioned in this post how I code people's names. And here's today's cast of characters:

KF-F: Originally pre-med but I think she's now just a biology major grad. We took organic chemistry together in our freshman year and through me she met JW-M and all his friends.

JW-M: My roommate freshman year in undergrad and my best friend in undergrad.

DJ-M: JW-M's friend from high school who went to the same university as us. I met DJ-M and became friends with him our sophomore year.

AS-M, BG-M, RS-M: Other mutual friends of mine and the people above. All of them also went to high school and university with JW-M and DJ-M.

AW-M: My old roommate for two years in undergrad. He's getting married in two weeks (I still have to buy a wedding gift).
Okay, so yesterday I was talking online with DJ-M. We were talking about careers, future, life, family, etc. I mentioned how freaky it was that people our age are getting married. I said how I'm going to AW-M's wedding in two weeks and how strange that is to me.

Then DJ-M mentioned how he went to KF-F's wedding a week or two ago. AS-M, BG-M, and RS-M also went (as well as other mutual friends not mentioned). JW-M was probably invited and would've gone, if he hadn't been in China until last week. I was sad that I wasn't invited and told DJ-M how I felt I'd "fallen by the wayside." He was actually quite surprised that I wasn't invited.

I asked him how he met KF-F. He said he met her through JW-M. I asked him if he knew how KF-F and JW-M met. He didn't know and had wondered at that before. So I recounted. KF-F and I had organic chemistry (orgo) together in freshman year. We studied a lot together, hung out a lot together, and were pretty good friends. Because she hung out in my dorm room quite a bit, she met and became friends with my then roommate, JW-M. And that's how she met JW-M and through JW-M met DJ-M, AS-M, BG-M, and RS-M.

It's sad and interesting, all at the same time. I feel like I can connect and make friends easily, but I also seem to detach and drift from many friends just as easily. I don't know how or when KF-F and I drifted apart, but we did. I'm sure she didn't intentionally not invite me to her wedding, but who knows.

It feels surprisingly easy to make a friend, but much more difficult to deepen a friendship much less maintain one.


Mike said...

I have to second your last two paragraphs. I feel like that is me. Maintaining friends is a constant struggle namely because life is crazy and busy, but I feel is so important to constantly maintain, and I try.

cvn70 said...


its strange how we can drift away for some friends and yet stay close to others. But like most things friendships neeed to be nurished and sometimes our time is short to accomplish this

hope things are well, take care and be safe


naturgesetz said...

Drifting apart from good friends is something we all do. Friendships are not easy to maintain when you're apart, so there has to be something above and beyond an ordinary friendship for them to endure — something just a little closer, a little stronger.

So I think your last paragraph would apply to a lot of us. The rest of us would not say that we make friends easily.

Anonymous said...

Ouch...that really hurts, not being invited. I don't know what to say. :(

Well, I'll do my best to be annoying and not let you drift away. :)

Jeremy said...

:( I would be sad that I wasn't invited too...

I dunno I'm rather shy and don't really 'hang out' with people very much. I like my classmates and such, and we do homework together, but other than that I don't really go out much lol.

Guess it doesn't help that I've sort of have trust issues for most of my life :/
I've just started to get over that in college.