Thursday, July 30, 2009

This Feels Like Farewell

No, I'm not going anywhere (with respects to the blogosphere, that is). But it's nearing the end of the summer for me and I haven't really achieved anything I had originally set out to do. For the most part, my summer has been spent wasting away in boredom, disinterest, and laziness. But in a week that's about to change.

You see, in about one week I'll be in another state unpacking and getting ready for med school. The Monday after begins the week of orientation and the Monday after that is the first day of classes. Where has the time flown? Hardly a week ago med school still felt like a long ways away. Now every tick of the clock moves too fast. I still haven't packed, that is to say, packed any more than what I haven't unpacked since coming back home.

Am I excited for med school? Yes. Am I ready to leave this house? Yes. Am I nervous? Hell yes. Above all this feels like farewell. It is farewell to the state I've lived in for the majority of my life. It is farewell from the friends I've made over the last 5 to 15 years. It is farewell to long lazy days, farewell to vacations, farewell to sleep, farewell to free time, farewell to any kind of income for the next 4 years . . .

It's as if a strange shroud of doubt lingers at the edges of my heart. It's not that I doubt I can take what med school throws my way. It's not that I doubt I will survive med school. It's not the doubt that I will end up a good doctor (and hopefully, a great doctor). It's that I doubt I will be able to stand what I'm sacrificing in the process, what I've already sacrificed without realizing. It's that I doubt med school will allow me to truly find all of me, if that makes sense. As my friend says, "That's what you get for wanting to help people." That some twisted irony there.

---TANGENT---
Before I continue, I would like to say farewell to Courage of A Beautiful Addiction... I've enjoyed your blog over the months and I've enjoyed chatting with you on MSN. I wish you the best with the coming academic year, I wish you the best with Kyle, and I wish you the best in every endeavor you undertake.

While this is your farewell, I will secretly follow your blog with the hopes that perhaps, a year or two from now, you return to the blogosphere. Until then, please don't be a stranger on MSN.
---END TANGENT---

Anywho, to end this post on a happy note, please watch the YouTube vids below. I insist that you do watch them as they are quite amusing and cute, and will more likely than not elicit a smile, if only a twinge. I found them while pursing blogs (that I cannot remember) and the last one was linked to me by a friend.

Signs


Kiwi!


JK Wedding Entrance Dance

7 comments:

Jason Carwin said...

Oh, I love the signs video. So great. I hadn't seen the other two, but I liked them both.

Btw, Good luck in med school. I'm sure you will do great.

Formysake said...

just the words med. school seems so intimidating...but I'm sure you'll do fine

Randy said...

Drop out of med school, and continue blogging. Its the only responsible thing to do.

Aek said...

Jason, Formysake: Thanks! :)

Randy: Lol, I'm not dropping out. I've come too far to turn around. Don't worry, I'll still blog, even if I have to sacrifice a little sleep. :P

Mike said...

Best of luck in med school and glad to know you're not going anywhere!

Seth said...

Going off on a huge life-changing experience like that, well, you should be a little nervous (in a good way)!!!

I'm sure (and I hope) everything will work out well for you, you will probably be so caught up in stuff - make sure you come visit us once in a while.

Good luck with the moving, orientation, and everything.

:)

Aek said...

Mike, Seth: Thanks!! :D